


Military Man

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge AUs [18]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Brainwashing, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Child slavery, Childhood Trauma, DarkPilot, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jedi Ben Solo, M/M, POV Ben, POV Poe, POV Poe Dameron, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Pathfinder Ben Solo, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Republic soldier Ben, Slow Burn, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: When Ben Solo joins the Republic fleet, he doesn't expect to be caught up in the horrors of war, his relationship with Poe Dameron, and a startling secret about one of the Jedi Masters.





	1. Coruscant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Happy belated birthday, MidgardianNerd! Sorry this took so long. Anyway, I figured this would be a multichapter Fic because it's a pretty big idea to hold in just a one-shot.

Ben’s ship comes out of hyperspace just as Ben snaps awake from a nightmare, shaking and sweaty and trying not to scream. It’s a nightmare about Narudar, as Poe must have seen him, on one of his first missions where he was assigned the role of Black Leader.

Coruscant is coming up. The whole planet is one big city, a whole iridescent city of sparkling lights, and even as Ben lands on the platform, he steps out, taking a look at the city.

It’s beautiful. He can remember coming here after Poe’s mission in taking down Narudar. He wonders idly if Poe will be there. If Poe will meet him there.

Another ship lands on the opposite platform and Poe Dameron climbs out. He sees Ben, and he’s all but running towards Ben, BB-8 at his heels, and Ben’s running towards him, and they’re embracing tightly. Ben inhales Poe’s scent like it’s the best thing worth inhaling. It probably is.

Eventually, they draw away, and Poe grins. “It’s so good to see you, Ben.”

“It’s good to see you too. I signed up.”

“Did you?”

They continue to walk on Coruscant, talking about signing up for the service, Poe talking about how the missions are going, things of that nature. And all the while, Ben knows that he’s doing the right thing. There’s everything wrong with the Jedi Order. But there’s nothing wrong with them.


	2. Pathfinder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben chooses his position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: All credit for this goes to MidgardianNerd. Let's say she brought it up and I loved the idea. I admit I don't know much about the Pathfinders, but I'll do my best to do them justice.

When Ben signs up for the Republic military, he already has a feeling as to what he should be. He’d love to be a pilot, but something pops into his mind about what he wants to be.

He isn’t much of a pilot -- at least, he hasn’t been given the opportunity much. Flying for pleasure hasn’t been something he’s practiced in the Order for quite some time. And he can still remember stories about Poe’s father, Kes Dameron, and his role in helping bring down the Empire. The Pathfinders, his group under Ben’s father’s command was called. Ground troops, guerilla fighters. And Ben knows that he is very good in terms of fighting, too good actually, to the point that it would realistically be terrifying. (He’s still terrified of his own potential to fall. He doubts he’ll ever not be)

Other beings might call him a failure for it. Of course, he’s used to being seen as simply the disappointment son, the disappointment nephew. No matter what he does, that’s how people see him. He doesn’t look much like either of his parents. He isn’t skilled like his uncle. He isn’t much of anything. The most that he knows how to do is read minds and, occasionally, work on droids. But mostly read minds. Reading others’ emotions and empathizing with others. Otherwise, he’s not much of anything.

It’s just yet another extension of the fact that even though he tries to be good, he’s bad. It’s just another extension of the fact that he’s not a terribly good Jedi, or even a terribly good person.

It’s that evening he tells Poe. He tells Poe everything, including his fears of failure, and how others will perceive him.

Poe looks at him, and he’s clearly puzzled. “Why would they think you were a failure for being a Pathfinder?”

“Because they want an excuse to call me a failure. And maybe I am.” Ben swallows. “Maybe I am a disappointment.”

“Ben.” Poe’s voice is soft, gentle, and if Ben doesn’t know better, reverent and sweet. “You’re not a disappointment. You never could be.”

And there’s something about the way Poe says it that makes Ben’s heart flutter.

“Thank you,” he finally says. “Thank you.”

“No problem. How about you talk to your dad about it?”

“Yeah.” When Dad hears about why he’s ultimately being a Pathfinder, he’ll hopefully understand. After all, Poe’s dad was a friend of his, and a Pathfinder himself. Hopefully, Dad will understand. Hopefully.


	3. Fantastic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben dons his Pathfinder uniform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Sorry the chapters are so short. I'll try and make future chapters longer.

When Ben tells his father who he’s going to be, of course, his father is delighted.

“Congratulations, Ben!”

“So...you’re not disappointed?” Ben says, almost impulsively.

“Never.” His father grins, and it’s the sort of grin that relaxes Ben despite himself. “My son, the Pathfinder. You’re gonna do great, I can feel it.”

“You think so?”

“Kid, I know it. You’re going to kick the butts of all sorts of Snoke’s troops all over the galaxy.”

Ben laughs. “That’ll be a sight to see.”

“It’ll be something that’s long coming,” Han says. “If anyone’s asking for a butt-kicking, it’s Snoke.”

“Don’t forget Narudar.”

“Yeah. Him too.” His father takes a deep breath. “Look, kiddo, when you get out there, give them all hell. Just for me.”

“I will,” Ben says.

“So,” his father says. “What else is going on with you?”

***  
There’s something about the way Ben asks if Han’s not disappointed that’s enough to bother Han after the conversation with Ben is over. He supposes that it’s not surprising. Thing about that poor kid is that he seems to be surrounded by people who seem to think he’s a disappointment just for existing, especially in the Order. Granted, he has his supporters, such as Luke, Alora, Annie, Thomas, Mike, beings like that, but it’s like the others seem to think he’s a disappointment.

Ben could never be a disappointment, though. Not to Han.

“He’s gonna be great,” Han says to Chewie. “He really will.”

Chewie grunts in agreement, and Han knows that even if most of the Jedi Order doesn’t believe in his son, he and Chewie do. Always.   
***  
Ben puts on the Pathfinder uniform the next day, and he has to admit, it suits him. True, it’s hard to fit his hair underneath the helmet, but he has to say, putting on the uniform, he feels almost heroic. Someone like Kes Dameron. He can only hope that he will be as brave as Poe’s father, and others under Han Solo’s command.

He steps out of the room when he’s done changing into his uniform, and Ben can feel Poe’s eyes drinking him in in his Pathfinder uniform, and he feels bashful, but not unpleasantly so. Poe’s eyes seem to worship him in that moment, and Ben doesn’t think he’s ever been looked at with such fascination, such interest, such...reverence. He definitely isn’t the sort in the Order who would get these looks. Then again, in the Order, people wouldn’t commonly look at each other like this.

“You like it?” Ben says, and his cheeks color a bit.

“It suits you.” Poe says. And Ben can already hear his thoughts broadcasting like a Holonet report. He’s so beautiful.

Beautiful. Ben can’t say that he’s ever been called that before. He’s used to being gawky and awkward and both too large and too skinny at the same time. But beautiful? Ben's not sure if he’s ever been called beautiful. And yet the way that Poe looks at him, it’s as if he’s seen an angel.

“Thank you,” he says. Then, “What do you mean by -- ’’

“It just does. I mean, you look heroic. You’re going to be a great Pathfinder, Ben, you really are.”

“You really think so?” Ben says.

Poe grins at him. “I know so, Ben. You’re going to be fantastic.”

Fantastic. There’s something about even that word that’s enough to stir a sort of warmth in Ben. The idea of being a fantastic Pathfinder...it’s too wonderful to consider. Fantastic. He knows that he’ll do his best to be a fantastic Pathfinder, he truly will. No matter what. 


	4. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben's training begins, Poe pines, and Ben has a fight with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
It’s earlier in his room the next morning that Ben has some time to think. He had a dream last night, a surprisingly pleasant one about him and Poe, and they were in a field together. All with Poe, just like in the waking world, calling him beautiful.

He’s still admittedly curious about Poe’s thoughts calling him beautiful, so he walks over towards the mirror to take a look.

Ben looks in the mirror, and he can see how he’s grown, how he’s matured. Now that his hair is free of its Padawan braid, it’s forming curls, and it’s falling freely around his face. He’s starting to even out and he’s not as gawky as he used to be, but he’s still not exactly handsome or beautiful. Not ugly, but strange-looking. His nose is too big, his ears are too big, everything about him is simply too big. The way Poe looks at him, though, he might as well have seen an angel.

Ben doesn’t quite see it. He’s not ugly, but he doubts he’ll ever be as stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful as Poe seems to think.

He gets dressed and heads to breakfast. It’s at breakfast he meets familiar faces -- such as one member of Poe’s squad, Jessika Pava -- as well as new ones. Katrina Leon is one example, as well as Harry, her brother. Ben introduces himself to them both, and he has quite a time asking questions about the Pathfinders and their training, why Katrina and Harry joined, things of that nature.

“Snoke’s troops destroyed our home,” Katrina says, and it only makes Ben wonder why the Order didn’t intervene sooner. They should have, it’s their job.

Well, then again, they didn’t intervene during the Mandalorian Wars either, a part of him says.

But that was a long time ago, wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry,” Ben says.

“Definitely not your fault. But Harry and I figured that we’d sign up. We started our training two days ago, and I know I can’t wait to get out there.” Katrina sighs. “It’s a massacre out there. It’s just a good thing we have a Jedi on our side.”

“You think I can -- ’’

“Oh yeah,” Harry says. “A Jedi on our side...Snoke’s troops better go running.”

Ben can only hope.

“Ben’s gonna do great,” Poe says. “I just know it.”

Ben can only hope.

They train in various things throughout the day -- picking locks is one example, shooting targets another -- and Ben has to admit that he feels strange without his lightsaber, but at the same time, it’s fascinating seeing the different things that Pathfinders get to do. There’s also the matter of sabotaging things. Ben can do this, of course. He’s practiced with repair before, working on his father’s ship with him. In a way, he’s all but lived on a ship for his earliest years. He can do this. Even completing the simulations of sabotaging First Order bases, he wonders, actually, if that was who he was all along and he was being held back.

When training ends, it’s something he tries not to think too hard about. He’s not ready for the inevitable getting angry part yet. And does he even have a right to get angry at his mother and uncle?

Does he have the right?

***

Throughout training, Poe’s all but watched Ben blossom. Ben is just plain good in terms of sabotaging and tinkering, and to think he feels that he’s not good at anything. He couldn’t be more wrong.

Stars, Ben is so beautiful. So radiant. So kind and so funny and so good, and Poe can’t vocalize it because he doesn’t even know if it’s possible. Granted, it’s not like he’s an officer, but still, could they ever love each other as Poe longs to? It hasn’t hit him fully until now but he loves Ben. He loves Ben’s smile, his eyes, his wit and his charm and his gentleness and he wants to tell him the truth but how, how does he tell the truth where he’s both happy and miserable?

Is that what love feels like? Where it feels so good, and the obstacles hurt?

***

It’s later that Ben’s mother contacts him. She appears on the holoscreen, dressed in her Senatorial regalia, and judging from the look on her face, that flinty sort of look, Ben already has a feeling that this isn’t going to be a good conversation.

“Mom,” he says. “Good to see you.”

His mother nods, curtly. “Ben. How is training going?”

“Pretty good.” In a way, it has been different from Jedi training. A lot different, actually. There’s been a lot of things that are different from Jedi training. For starters, there is the matter of the fact that there’s a lot less shame involved.

“Good,” his mother says. “Though...I do have a question for you.”

“What?”

“How could you desert the Order like that, Ben?” The quiet disappointment, the quiet anger, seems to be frozen on her face -- along with something Ben has a feeling would be easier to pinpoint in a face to face conversation.

“I didn’t desert the Order,” Ben says.

“You ran away from the Order instead of completing your training.”

“I was already a Knight!”

“You still had a lot of training to complete! Do you know how much of the Order, how much of the Republic, is talking about you?”

Ben can only imagine. And that’s enough to light a spark of defensiveness in him.

“Yeah.” Ben’s voice becomes razor sharp. “The disappointment son, that’s me. Just for wanting to actually do something about Snoke.”

“Ben, it isn’t like that at all -- ’’

“Then what is it like, Mom? Enlighten me.”

His mother hesitates. Then, “You can’t just rush in like that.”

“Who says I’m rushing?” Except you, Ben thinks, and he finds that he hates her for it, even though he shouldn't. Sons are supposed to be dutiful to their mothers, sons aren’t supposed to question their mothers’ love. Mothers are sacred, mothers are heroes for the sake of giving birth, whether they love their offspring or not.

Whether their offspring are worthy of their love or not, Ben thinks. He is different. He always has been.

His mother swallows. “I only fear you’ll fall. There’s something waiting for you out there, Ben. Something...worse than what Snoke can throw at you.”

“I won’t fall.” Do you have such little faith in me? Ben wonders.

“I can only hope.” Silence falls. “May the Force be with you, Ben.”

The call ends, and Ben can only hope that he can prove his mother wrong. He’s not going to fall. He never will.

And that’s the truth.


	5. Crait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets his first mission. It goes poorly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Many thanks to Lisalicious for helping me break my writer's block.

It’s long after the commcall with his mother that Ben can’t help but feel discouraged. Then again, as of late, his mother is very good at making him feel discouraged and alone. He doesn’t know if that’s her intention, but he supposes that it doesn’t really matter. After all, the end result is still the same, isn’t it? He still feels bad about himself.

It’s the next morning at breakfast that Poe seems to notice. “Hey,” he says. “You okay?”

Ben shakes his head.

“What happened?”

And even as Ben goes into detail about the call, Poe’s eyebrows seem to go into his hairline. It takes a while before Poe speaks.

“She’s wrong, then,” Poe says. “You’re not going to fall for helping people. For being a Pathfinder. You’re a good person, Ben.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

And there’s something about the way that Poe says it, as well as that smile, that’s enough to make Ben feel, if slightly, better.

It’s after breakfast that General Madine calls together the Pathfinders and the pilots alike. “Our first mission is to the planet of Crait,” he says. “Snoke’s troops have already taken the planet, and it’s our job to liberate it.”

And even as Madine outlines the plan, Ben listens, promising himself that he won’t fail.

When they land on Crait, in a disguised shuttle, they have to be careful, they have to be deliberate. They have to make sure not to make any noise. Up ahead, Ben sees stormtroopers, marching on the beaches of Crait.

Stormtroopers. Ben’s chest clenches up even as he looks at the troopers ahead of him, marching in a perfect formation. These are the things that he thought were just the things of history, the things of his mother’s stories, these are the things that he thought were nightmares. And here they are.

“It can’t be,” he says.

But here it is. All this evidence that the Empire is good as being resurrected.

Harry turns to look at him. “We’re gonna have to be quiet,” he says.

“Figured that.”

Creeping along the beach isn’t easy. They have to be quiet, and staying out of sight isn’t the easiest thing considering there are few places to hide.

The stormtroopers spot them, and they shoot. As the others shoot back, Ben reaches out and freezes one of them in place. The other blaster bolts he deflects with ease. Some of the stormtroopers switch weapons, clearly in shock over the fact that there’s a Jedi with them. One of them wields something that Ben can’t identify the design of, but he knows really isn’t good.

Clashing with it, Ben realizes that it’s an electrical weapon. It’s electrical, he realizes with a jolt, and the weapon crackles against his own. The stormtrooper swipes and Ben is sent flying.

“Ben!”

Poe’s voice. He sounds absolutely in shock, and he shoots. The stormtrooper falls, and Poe runs towards Ben’s side. They’re close now. Even in the daze of having survived, Ben thinks, bewildered, He’s holding me. Poe’s holding me. And he already feels as if his head’s spinning.

“Are you okay?” Poe says.

Ben nods.

There’s more stormtroopers heading up the beach, and Ben gets to his feet. They seem to be flowing out in droves.

He rushes into the fray, deflecting blaster bolts, slicing down stormtroopers. It seems, for a moment, like they’ve beaten them back...

At least until the figure shows up. Gold-masked, dark-robed, his very presence is enough to fill Ben with dread.

He draws his lightsaber and Ben spins his, coaxing the figure to fight him. The figure does and as their blades clash, Ben knows that his training, in contrast, is not quite complete, where this figure seems to have a lot of training on him. The figure knocks him to the ground, and Ben anticipates the killing blow, only for the figure to freeze him instead.

The last thing that Ben hears before everything goes dark is Poe screaming his name. 


	6. Precipice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben meets Lisaris for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Okay, MidgardianNerd, others reading this...this chapter contains a torture scene. You may want to skip this chapter if that triggers or upsets you. I am so sorry.

When Ben comes to, he’s already confused as to where he is. It’s almost as if he’s surrounded by darkness, where he can’t make out where he is. Where he is, honestly, is anyone’s guess.

“Where am I?” he says.

“You’re our prisoner,” says a voice like crackling flames, and Ben turns his head in the darkness to find the source of the voice.

It’s the same figure in the gold mask that Ben saw on Crait.

“Who are you?” Ben says.

“My name,” says the figure, “Is Lisaris, if it pleases you. As I was saying, you are our prisoner.”

“Where are my friends?”

“They’ve been secured,” says Lisaris. “For their safety.”

There’s nothing on Lisaris’ mind that suggests that he’s concerned for their safety, not in the slightest. Ben just knows this.

And across the hall, he hears Poe make a sound like he’s trying not to cry out. He hears Poe scream, and he wants to break free of his restraints, but he finds that he can’t. No matter how much he struggles, he can’t break free of the cuffs. Even reaching out with the Force...

“You can try,” says Lisaris, “But you’ll hardly succeed. These are Force suppressing cuffs. They are unnecessary, but the guards insisted on them.”

And Ben can only struggle, in futility, against the cuffs, wanting to get to Poe, but not knowing how.

***

Down the hallway, it feels like, for Poe, that the beatings won’t stop. The stormtroopers are wailing on him again and again, and it just won’t end. But he isn’t going to give in. Not now.

“What was your mission?” one of the stormtroopers says, and Poe bites his lip, hard, not willing to give out information about his mission. He’s willing to do anything to not give away his mission, no matter what.

“The Republic,” he says, when another beating manages to make him spit blood, “Will not be intimidated by people like you.”

The stormtrooper chuckles. “You call yourself the Republic? Are you that egotistical?”

Another blow, and Poe’s spitting out blood again. At this point, he thinks, there’s really no point to all this. The stormtrooper beating him is just being sadistic.

He looks up at the ceiling in that moment, concentrating on just taking the pain away.

Until one of the troopers applies his electrical weapon to Poe’s skin.

And there, even as it burns and sears, Poe can’t help but scream.

***

“Poe.” Ben says softly. Even hearing Poe scream even as electricity is applied to his body, the sort of scream that he never thought would come out of Poe, he wants to run to Poe, to kill those guarding him and torturing him.

Lisaris’ voice is all but purring at his ear. “Listen. Can you not hear him suffering? It would be so easy if you gave in. So easy if you surrendered to the Dark Side.”

“I...”

“It’s not like you’re a Jedi any longer. You never belonged there. You were never welcome. Now you don’t have to hide your darkness, your tainted core, any longer. Give in, Jedi.”

Ben listens to Poe screaming, and he already feels like a coward for not giving in.

The cuffs come off, and Lisaris sounds practically smug. “Go ahead, Jedi. Consider it a gift.”

Ben runs.

He runs down the hallway, down towards the room where Poe’s being tortured, slicing down guard by guard, letting franticness, fear, anger, be his guide. Finally, he reaches Poe’s chamber, and his hand is already curling into a fist.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just knows he wants to make the stormtrooper torturing Poe suffer. He wants to make him hurt. The stormtrooper’s lifted into the air, yanked towards him, and the stormtrooper’s sputtering, gasping for breath, struggling, before Ben realizes what he’s doing.

He’s just on the precipice of falling.

He lets the stormtrooper go, and the stormtrooper slumps against the wall, limp as a ragdoll. Ben gasps for breath, and he looks at the lifeless body of the stormtrooper, suddenly disgusted with himself. What has he done?

Slowly, he makes his way over to Poe, and he uses the Force to free Poe from his cuffs. He pulls Poe gently to his feet and embraces him, taking in the fact that he was tortured and Ben couldn’t protect him.

“Poe.” Ben murmurs softly into his hair. “Oh, Poe, I am so sorry. I am so sorry...”

“It’s not your fault,” Poe says.

They draw away, and Ben looks over Poe. He’s badly bruised, and still wincing from where the electricity got him. Ben reaches out towards him.

“I just need to heal your wounds,” Ben says.

Poe’s nods, and his breath hitches even as Ben reaches out towards him, touches his cheek. Poe relaxes into the touch, even as Ben pours the Force into healing the wounds that Poe’s suffered.

It’s all so intimate. Ben doesn’t think he’s ever been that close to Poe before.

Eventually, Poe’s wounds are healed, and he draws away from Ben. “It feels good,” he says. “It really does. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Ben says.

Lisaris’ voice cuts through the room. “So, you would kill for him, wouldn't you?”

Ben turns around, Poe still in his arms, to face Lisaris, who watches them both with a sort of detached curiosity.

“I chose a good subject,” says Lisaris. “You were too willing to kill for him, weren’t you? But you are also a coward, Jedi. Just like the rest of your kind, you’re frightened of the Dark Side, terrified of what it will unleash. So you ran away. Is that what you do when things get difficult, run away?”

“I will never become like you.”

“Then why, even now, do you feed off anger and hate?”

Ben looks to the stormtrooper lying on the ground, and he feels as if the ground is giving way from under him.

“You are no Jedi. An imposter, maybe, but no true Jedi. You’re unwanted, that’s plain to see. A stain on the Jedi’s history. Half Light, half Dark.”

“What?” Ben says. It can’t be. It just can’t. Lisaris is trying to goad him, isn't he?

But it is the truth. How does Lisaris even know?

“Join us,” says Lisaris. “Embrace your heritage. Embrace the Dark.”

“I already have a place to belong.”

Lisaris draws his lightsaber. “Then you are a fool and will die like one,” he says.

He ignites his lightsaber, Ben ignites his, and their battle begins, and Ben finds that his anger is far too easy. He forces Lisaris towards the ground, and he can smell the mask starting to smoke. It’s roasting away, and Ben can see a hint of a nose beneath. His saber hums against Lisaris’, and there’s a crackling sound.

It’s when Lisaris is losing consciousness that Ben realizes what he’s done, and draws away. He deactivates his saber before slinging Lisaris’ arm over his left shoulder. Freeing the others, after that, is easy, and yet on the way to base, Ben can’t help but feel troubled. Does he have the Darkness as part of him? Not just as a terrifying possibility, but his heritage?

Even that thought is terrifying. And did Uncle Luke know? Did Mom know? Dad definitely didn’t, right?

Ben doesn’t know. But he knows this.

It’s time for him, his mother, and Uncle Luke to have a long chat.


	7. Tainted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben argues with his uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Luke in this chapter is definitely pretty complicated. I see him (partially) as not knowing how to deal with someone unique like Ben, and Ben's self-esteem paying for it.

While the others are dealing with Lisaris, Ben calls up his uncle, and he’s already dreading the outcome of the call.

His uncle shows up, and his face is cold. “Ben,” he says.

“Uncle.” Already, Ben knows that the outcome of this call is not going to be a good one.

“I felt what you did on Crait.”

It’s almost as if his uncle can see right through him in that moment, and Ben has to look away. He’s already feeling the weight of his uncle’s stare, the judgment in those eyes.

“I thought I taught you better than that, Ben,” his uncle says. “Instead, you decided to use the Dark Side. You hurt another being. No, you killed another being.”

“He was torturing Poe.”

“And that was wrong. But what you used...you used the Dark Side. You murdered another being. You disobeyed me, in more ways than one.”

And Ben knows what he’s talking about. “I was trying to help!” Before he can stop himself, the words are already escaping. “When was the last time that you helped someone, Uncle?”

Silence. Then, “Plenty, Ben.”

“Then why didn’t you do something when people were dying?”

“We couldn’t move too quickly -- ’’

“Always with the ‘reasons’,” Ben snaps. “What good would all that do when other beings are dying on the battlefield, or in their homes?”

“What good would going in blind do either, Ben? That was exactly what I was afraid would happen one day -- ’’

“Because of the balance of Light and Dark in me? Don’t we all have that?” Ben doesn’t know where exactly those words are coming from. Maybe it’s one last, feeble attempt to hold onto some sort of denial, just to keep his sanity. Maybe he’s not damaged. Maybe...

“I always sensed it,” Uncle Luke says, “And I was afraid of what you would become.”

“You thought I would fall to the Dark Side?”

“It’s far from a stretch,” Uncle Luke says. “Considering what you did today -- ’’

“So now the truth comes out, doesn’t it?” Ben says dully.

“Ben, I’m scared for you -- ’’

“I made a mistake, Uncle. A horrible one. But you weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they were doing to Poe down the hall. That was why I did it.”

“You shouldn’t get attached to Poe.”

“You’re married!”

“It’s different for you -- ’’

“So I’m different? Just like I’ve always been?” Tainted, unclean, that’s what he means by “different”. How could I have thought otherwise?

“Yes.”

“Poe’s my friend. And I’m going to regret killing that stormtrooper as I did, but not getting attached to Poe.”

And he’s not just my friend. I love him. The realization startles Ben. But “damaged” beings, by Uncle Luke’s definition, can’t love, can they? They can’t have friends. There’s something wrong with them.

They’re all wrong.

“Goodbye, uncle,” Ben says, and ends the call. He rubs his forehead, suddenly very tired. To think that Uncle Luke was scared of him, even before he was born...

It hurts. It hurts a lot. It’s just more proof that Ben’s damaged, isn’t he? That there’s something wrong with him.

There’s footsteps, and then a knock on the door. Poe’s voice is behind that door. “Ben? Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door opens and Poe enters. “Madine’s dealing with Lisaris,” Poe says. “I thought you could use some help.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you feeling all right?” Poe says,

“No.”

“What happened?”

And even recapping the events of the holocall, Ben almost wants to cry. When he’s finished, Poe looks at him in astonishment before composing himself.

“I don’t like what you did,” Poe says, “But you’re not a monster. I know it, Ben.”

“I hope not.”

“As for the whole Light and Dark thing...well, to the Corellian hells with that,” Poe says. “The galaxy isn't split into good people and Dark Siders. Besides, it’s not like I’m innocent either. I’ve definitely killed my share of people.”

There’s something about the way that Poe says it that makes Ben’s heart ache.

“Poe,” he says, “You’re not a murderer.”

“Thank you.”

There’s silence before Ben says, “Poe...”

“What?”

“When you were being tortured, I could hear it down the hall. And I couldn't stand it. You being in pain...”

“You couldn’t take it, could you?” Poe says, softly.

Ben shakes his head.

“I’m okay now. Though...” Poe sighs. “I don’t know if I want to revisit those bastards in my dreams.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

Poe smiles. “I’ll be okay. But if there’s any trouble, I’ll yell for you.”

Ben smiles back. “And I’ll be on my way.”

Because I’ll do what I can because I love you so.

Poe heads away, and not for the first time, Ben wonders how he can vocalize his feelings to Poe. How will he know where to start? And are tainted beings such as himself Allowed (as he imagines the Order saying it) to love?

Ben doesn’t know.

He only knows he loves Poe anyway.


	8. Small Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben talks with Han, and Poe's dreams lead to interesting new developments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Just a warning, Poe's dreams do get kind of explicit. Let's say it doesn't quite earn the E rating, but...yeah.

The call with his father goes slightly better, though that’s not much of an improvement. His father’s not exactly happy with how his uncle treated him.

“I don’t know if your uncle knows this,” his father says, “But morality’s not split into light side and dark side. I mean, I’ve done my share of things out there to survive and I could do without some mystical energy field casting judgment on every choice I make.”

“It’s...” Ben laughs. “It’s not just a mystical energy field.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. But my point is, things aren’t as simple as Uncle Luke likes to think they are. Stang, by that logic, I’d probably have my own red lightsaber by now.”

Ben laughs again. “That’s quite the image.”

“I’d probably make a bad Sith Lord anyway, kiddo.”

They both laugh. And for a moment, Ben almost forgets about how serious the situation is.

Then his father becomes more serious. “But yeah, kiddo...why did you do it?”

“It’s no excuse, but it was because he was torturing Poe.” Ben’s voice cracks. “Stars, he was hurting Poe and I was right there listening to it and I couldn’t help him...”

“Breathe, kiddo. Breathe.”

Ben does, and somehow, that makes him feel calmer than the Code ever could.

His father continues. “I get it, kid. I really do.”

“You do?”

“He was torturing Poe. I mean, if I were in your position and someone was torturing someone I loved...I don’t like it, but I can get it.”

Now that definitely startles Ben. “I -- ’’

“Most of all, you need someone to hold onto. I’m no Jedi, but that kept me on the right path for a long time.”

Ben swallows. “You’re still on the right path.”

Silence falls.

“I’ll definitely talk with your uncle,” his father says. “You...I hope you’re doing all right over there.”

“Yeah.” Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Me too.”

***  
_When Poe dreams, he dreams about his torture._

_The stormtroopers loom above him, beating him, shocking him, finding new ways to hurt him. Finding new ways to make him suffer. And knowing Ben’s down that hallway, not knowing what will happen next, what’s happening to Ben. It terrifies him, and he feels himself on the rack, immobilized, at the stormtroopers’ mercy._

_The dream shifts, and Ben’s lying on Poe’s bed, and in the dream, of course he’s naked. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise. He’s naked, on Poe’s bed, propped up on one elbow, and Poe’s mouth floods with moisture looking at him._

_Of course, in the dream, Poe has never seen Ben naked. But he can picture what he looks like, muscled and big, not absurdly muscled but definitely strong. His strong upper belly and soft lower belly. All contradictions in Ben’s body, all fascinating._

_“You see anything you like?” Ben says, rather slyly, and Poe, slowly, nods._

_“You’re beautiful,” he says to Ben, and he has a feeling that that’s what he’s been intending to say all along._

_Ben flushes, and then says, “Thank you.” Then, “Poe...”_

_“What?”_

_“Can you...undress for me?”_

_Poe nods. And all the while he can’t help but wonder if Ben will want him, what he’ll think -- but Ben looks at him in amazement._

_“You’re beautiful,” Ben says, and Poe finds himself relaxing at these words._

_Ben crawls over towards him and lowers his mouth towards Poe’s chest. He speaks, and his voice is so beautiful. “May I?”_

_“Please,” Poe says and his chest has a warm, soft, wet mouth taking a nipple and making Poe moan. Poe pleads, begs, moans, and it’s pure ecstasy._

_“Ben,” he says, “Ben...”_

“Poe...”

Poe looks up at Ben, who’s above him in that moment, looking down at him, and he all but groans. Just what he needed, Ben hearing his fantasies...and probably seeing them too.

“Do you want me to go?” Ben says. “I mean, you’re embarrassed -- ’’

Poe doesn’t know. On the one hand, he wants Ben to leave. On the other...

“Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow,” Poe says.

Ben nods, and he starts to leave. And Poe’s kicking himself for letting Ben go, but at the same time, it’s the best thing he can really do.

After all, Poe doesn't know how he’s going to explain all this to Ben. He’s already embarrassed that Ben even overheard, probably mistaking it as a cry for help...

Poe turns over on his side and, uneasily, tries to get back to sleep.


	9. Arguments and Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han confronts Luke. Meanwhile, Poe and Ben talk about last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Calling up Luke isn’t what Han would call an easy task. He didn’t think that he would actually be calling Luke to tell him off, but it looks like that’s the case. They greet each other before Han launches into the main topic of his call.

“What in the entire Corellian hells was up with that holocall with Ben?”

“He killed -- ‘’

“Yeah, I know. He told me.” Han says. “But really, Luke, if someone were torturing Alora -- ’’

“Poe is in no way comparable to Alora!”

“Like hell he isn’t!” Han says. “I mean, have you seen the way they look at each other?”

“I have,” Luke says. “And they can’t look at each other that way.”

“What?”

Luke continues. “It’s dangerous for Ben to love.”

“Funny,” Han snaps. “You say that. I mean, you’re married. What, does it just apply to you?”

“I’m worried that Ben’s going to fall.”

“Why’s Ben different?”

Han can tell that he’s definitely struck Luke where he didn’t expect.

“It’s...”

“Ever since he was born, you and Leia both -- I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated him!”

“We don’t,” Luke says.

“Well, you could have fooled me!”

Silence.

Then Luke speaks. “Han...did Ben tell you about his own darkness?”

“No. But honestly, it doesn’t mean I love him any less.”

“And that’s admirable, Han. But -- ’’

“But I shouldn’t?”

Luke sighs. “Leia will most likely be furious at me for telling you this,” he says, “But I think Snoke is after Ben. Because of that darkness.”

Silence. Han feels like he’s been struck in the chest.

“How long?” he says.

“I don’t know,” Luke says. “But it was why Leia sent him to me.”

“She said -- stars, she said -- ’’

“I know. But she wanted to protect Ben.”

Han’s finding it difficult to find words. Then, “Why didn't she tell me?”

“She didn’t think you’d understand.”

Han takes a deep breath. Already, he’s furious with Luke, white-hot fury that he didn’t think he was capable of when it came to the kid. But he’s furious.

“How?”

“She thought you’d misjudge the situation.”

“You’ve been lying to me the whole time because you thought I’d...” Han can’t even finish the sentence. It’s one of those moments where speech can’t sum up the situation.

Luke is calm all the while. Infuriatingly so.

“Han,” he says. “Let me explain.”

***  
It’s after practice that they actually get to talk -- they have to find a place to talk, but once they do, Poe is grateful. They’re so close that Poe’s staring at Ben’s lips, and he’s struck by how full they are, how plump and soft. He wonders what it would be like to kiss them, those pink lips that should look out of place being so full, but aren’t.

He’s taking Ben in fully before Ben finally speaks. “So...you wanted to talk about what happened between us?”

“Yeah. About that...” Poe’s cheeks color.

“Well, first thing is, are you doing all right?”

“I am.” Poe sighs. “Ben, I didn’t...” He suddenly wonders how his best friend is going to react, knowing that he was the subject of such a vivid erotic dream, such a fantasy.

“I admit I didn’t know how to react to it,” Ben says. “That dream. I didn’t think that you would actually...want me.”

There’s something about the way that Ben says it that breaks Poe’s heart. “I do,” he says. “I want you. I love you, Ben.” Stars, when we were both teenagers, I adored you. I still adore you.

There’s a look of surprise on Ben’s face, then delight that makes him even more radiant, even more beautiful. He is beautiful enough to be an angel, Poe thinks. Kind enough too.

“I should have known. I love you too.”

They’re close enough to kiss. Poe’s staring at Ben’s lips, and he’s aching for their taste, aching for their softness. He has such beautiful lips...

“I want...” Poe wets his own lips. “I want to kiss you.”

“Then do it.” Ben’s voice is like music in that moment. “Kiss me.”

Poe can’t refuse him.

Their lips don’t meet perfectly. Poe has to tilt his head to get past Ben’s large nose, but the reward is worth it. Ben’s lips taste like honey -- they’re so soft and full and sweet, and Poe moans into Ben’s mouth. He expects Ben to be repulsed, but instead, Ben’s kissing him back, and they’re exploring the other’s mouth like they can’t stop and don’t want to. Poe runs his fingers through Ben’s hair, feeling how soft it is between his fingers and how thick, and Ben’s running his hands over Poe’s body, and oh, it’s so reverent, so worshipful, and it feels so good.

They break the kiss, and Poe’s gasping, and they’re holding each other like they don’t want to stop. Poe feels a sort of satisfaction in seeing how red Ben’s lips are from their kisses, how messy his hair is. He’s like a debauched angel, the most amazing and beautiful man that Poe’s ever seen, and Poe’s clinging to this gorgeous creature like a drowning man to a life raft.

“So...damn.” Poe looks up at Ben, who’s clinging to Poe in turn. “That was...that was a real kiss, wasn’t it?”

“I think so.”

They’re silent. Then Ben speaks. “About your dream...do you want to make it a reality?”

“Maybe not now,” Poe says. “But we might have to.” He laughs. “After all, a gorgeous Jedi naked in my bed? I can’t say no to that.”

“I’m not that beautiful.”

“You’re gorgeous.” Poe kisses him again. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“You’re too kind.” And Poe can feel the hesitation there. He can feel Ben going over every physical and psychological imperfection he has, and it just doesn’t matter to Poe, he’s just that in love with Ben.

“I’ll keep telling you that until you believe it.” Poe sighs. “I better go. But...hopefully we’ll find some time tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Ben says, smiling.

Heading back to his room, it’s as if everything has become sweeter, more wonderful. As if what Lisaris did can be kept at bay for a while, as if Ben has become his protector. Even as he gets into bed, Poe swears that he can feel his angel’s presence just across the hall, keeping the nightmares at bay. He sleeps, and he imagines Ben with him.

Angels do exist.

Poe knows, and loves, one.


	10. Dxun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben and co. get their new mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They’re on a different mission this time. Apparently, according to Republic intelligence, there’s a First Order base on the jungle moon of Dxun that they have to take out. Apparently a stormtrooper training facility.

Ben is definitely all for destroying it. Seeing what Haranka’s slavers did with children is bad enough. But this...

Ben can’t stand when terrible things happen to children, and this is no exception.

They’ve just finished with breakfast and now they’re heading out. Ben turns to look at Poe. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Just nervous. And scared for you.”

Now that they’re together, the fear of loss is all too real. They could die at any moment, they could be captured at any moment. Poe still has the scars from where Lisaris’ men tortured him. Ben doesn’t know if he can bear it happening again.

Ben pulls him in close in that moment, rests his forehead against Poe’s.

“Just be careful out there,” he says. “Really.”

“I will,” Poe says, and he smiles. “Don’t you worry.”

Even heading out towards the shuttle, Ben can only hope that their mission goes far better than their last one. True, they managed to capture Lisaris, who is now in the custody of General Madine, but they also got themselves captured and tortured, and it’s Ben’s fault.

He good as got them all captured. But he won’t fail again.

They head into the shuttle, and Ben takes the copilot’s seat -- Poe will want to pilot for this one. He turns towards the others. “You guys ready?”

Katrina and Harry nod. They’ve been scarred from their experiences, but nonetheless they’re going to keep fighting no matter what. He turns towards Poe. “Let’s get going.”

They head out then towards Dxun, and Ben can only hope that this time, this time, he doesn't screw it up. 


	11. The Tomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben and co. visit the tomb of Freedon Nadd, and Ben both liberates some stormtrooper kids and has a brief brush with the Dark Side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Yes, this is a shameless callback/ripoff of Knights of the Old Republic 2. I miss the KOTOR games; I hope Disney incorporates them into the official canon somehow (minus TOR).

  
They’re being held in the tomb of Freedon Nadd. Not exactly the most conventional place to hold children training to be stormtroopers, but Ben is going to do whatever he can to save them.

Even making their way through the tomb, they’ve already had to deactivate the perimeter sensor, fight off wild animals, and plenty more, and Ben’s in the tomb. He can remember from his history lessons that the Jedi Exile Arawn Sinn’s team came here. They managed to resist the Dark Side here. Ben can only hope that he can be as brave.

The Dark Side is already tearing at his head. He can feel it. And it’s cold -- it’s so very cold. It feels like a whole blast of cold winter air has hit him full force.

“Ben.” Poe’s voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Already, trying to stay calm is a struggle. Impulsively, Ben draws on the Code. _There is no emotion, there is peace..._

Except Ben doubts he could ever live that life.

“It’s all right,” Poe says. “We’re with you.”

Ben nods. He supposes the question would be if Poe would understand.

It’s after breaking through the code of one of the rooms that they find the first group of children. Ben’s struck by how thin they look, how haunted in that moment. Even kneeling next to one of them, a child of probably four, Ben says, “It’s okay. We’re here to get you out of there. What’s your name?”

Even as the little girl rattles off her designation, FN-2007, Ben’s heart aches. FN-2007. She deserves more than just a number. They all do. He says, “We’ll figure out your name, and we’ll tell you.”

“They don’t give us names,” says the little girl. “Just numbers. We’re not...impor-tant enough to have names.”

And Ben vows that when he catches up with whoever’s responsible for all this, he will make them pay in full.

The Dark Side whirls around him, and Ben can feel it, hear it, whispering to him. _It would be so easy to give in, wouldn’t it?_ Friendly-voiced, almost fatherly. _You can. Just let me in..._

Ben closes his eyes, trying to block out the Darkness. He’s all but clinging to reality, clinging to the Code. _There is no emotion, there is peace..._

_And yet for you, that can never be true. Too much anger inside you, too much fear, too much love..._

“Ben!”

Poe’s voice is grounding him in that moment.

He withdraws from the Dark Side, from the cold blast, rubbing his temples. FN-2007 is staring at him in worry. Ben smiles at her, weakly. “I’m okay,” he says. “Really.”

He rests his forehead against Poe’s, and Poe murmurs softly to him. “It’s okay,” he says. “You’re with us. You’re safe. I love you.”

Ben smiles, genuinely, and leans more into Poe, reassured by his presence. He may be broken, but Poe loves him, and that’s what matters.

They get the other children out, and all the while, Ben can’t help but feel a certain satisfaction. They’ve done it. They’ve managed to save the children. They’ve done what they can.

And heading back, Ben vows to protect the children, no matter what the cost. 


	12. City on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux retaliates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Inside the Finalizer, Armitage Hux is already fuming. To say that he’s angry over the news of the stormtrooper facility is an understatement. Sabotaging the bases isn’t just a matter of losing valuable troops to the First Order -- it’s a personal slap in the face to General Armitage Hux. These are his men, fully trained, fully capable, loyal, trained from birth, and the Republic dares to interfere with the makings of good soldiers? Even knowing that the Republic still exists and is still fighting out there is enough to boil his blood. How dare they? How dare they?

How dare they be out there, promoting corruption and disorder, and how dare they try and undo everything that the First Order has ever worked for --

Hux does not lash out. He isn’t the type. But he knows that the Republic is going to pay for what they’ve done.

It’s that night that he gives a speech. And even as he gives the speech, Hux feels righteous in that moment. Justified. Everything he is doing is right. Razing this worthless planet to the ground would be a favor to the galaxy, as well as eradicating the Republic fleet.

They draw closer towards the planet and one of the gunners says, “Sir...”

“Do it,” Hux says coldly. “Wipe this planet from the face of the galaxy.”

The gunners obey, and even as the Finalizer rains destruction on the planet below, Hux watches even as little bursts of flame appear on the planet’s surface, a city here, another there.

It looks absolutely glorious.

***

When Ben wakes up, the whole city’s on fire.

He stumbles to his feet in that moment, with no time to get dressed even as he grabs his things. He runs towards the exit, and behind him, Poe follows, along with Katrina and Harry. They run towards the exit even as the city around them burns, even as blasts nearly level the base. They run to the transport, where FN-2007 is shaking like a leaf as Madine tries to comfort her.

“She’s safe?” Ben says.

Madine says, “She will be. Poe...you better fly us out of there.”

Poe nods, and gets to the pilot’s seat. The transport lifts off in that moment, and Ben wishes that he had Bastila Shan’s legendary Battle Meditation, just so they could get out of this situation in time.

***  
The Republic base is finished. Hux knows it. Without one of their bases, it will come crumbling down piece by piece, one by one, bit by bit. The Republic was never meant to be in power. The Empire deserves to be in power, every step of the way -- preferably with Hux himself at the helm.

It’s there that one of the officers speaks up. “Sir...the transports...”

“Shoot them down!”

The officers obey, and even as the transports fall like shooting stars, Hux feels a certain amount of satisfaction. The Republic fleet are savages, and the sooner they’re killed, the better. The only good Republic soldier is a dead one -- or so Hux has been told.

Hux watches, calmly, coldly, even as the transports fall from the sky.

***  
The transport shakes, and Madine winces. “Star Destroyer,” he says. “It’s catching up to us.”

FN-2007’s huddled in a ball, shaking all the while.

Ben kneels next to FN-2007 and hugs her tightly. “It’s okay,” he tells her. “You’re gonna be okay, kiddo.”

The transport shudders under another blast, and Ben calls up to Poe, “We better get out of here. Can you make the jump to lightspeed from here?”

“Yeah.”

The transport jumps to hyperspace, and towards safety. 


	13. Plans of Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pathfinders regroup, and Hux makes his next move on Hosnia Prime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
It’s later on that they manage to find some time to take everything in. Even as they stare at the blue swirls of hyperspace, Ben still can’t wrap his head around the idea that their base is effectively gone. Razed to the ground. It’s gone, and they have to find a new planet to hide. Assuming that whoever destroyed their base isn’t going to find them again.

Madine’s slumped over in his chair, his hand all but covering his forehead. “We’re going to need to find a place to hide. I was thinking the Ileneum system would be a good place. We should be safe there.”

“Safe?” Ben says. “With all due respect, sir, how do you know that the one who destroyed the base won’t follow us here?”

“He won’t follow us if he doesn’t know where the base is,” says Madine.

Ben supposes that that’s true enough. “Who is he? That man...”

Madine goes grim. “That man is a monster,” he says. “He’s Brendol Hux’s son. And he seems to be following in the footsteps of his father, because as far as our intelligence goes, he’s been responsible for the kidnapping of the children.”

As if Ben can’t hate him more. This is the man responsible for what happened to FN-2007 and many others. (Already, he knows that he needs to think up a new name for her. It’s unfair, just calling her FN-2007)

“He’s not going to stop his attacks on the Republic with what he did to our base,” Madine says. “I have a feeling that he’s going to move in towards the Republic itself. Towards places like the Hosnian system. Snoke’s troops hate the Republic and will do everything they can to destroy it. They’d rather see the Republic razed to the ground than see it standing.”

“Why?” Ben says.

“To restore the tyranny of the Empire, most likely,” Madine says. “General Hux’s father has ties to the Empire. The General himself...well, he’s a tyrant in his own right.”

FN-2007 speaks up. “He’s not the only one who takes us.”

“What do you mean?” Ben says.

“There’s a lady in silver who takes us to the bases. She’s not a nice lady.” FN-2007 shudders. “She’s really mean.”

“Right,” Ben says. “But don’t worry -- we’ll protect you from her and Hux. I promise.”

And that’s a promise he intends to keep.

“I need a name for you,” he says. “You deserve more than your designation. Do you have a name?”

FN-2007 shakes her head, and Ben’s heart aches for her. Then he says, “FN...well, I can’t call you Finn.”

“Why not?” Poe says.

Ben sighs. “There’s probably a lot of FNs. I want to be able to tell her apart.”

“Oh.” Then, “How about Shara?”

Ben smiles. “I like it. What do you think, Shara?”

FN-2007 grins, and it’s adorable to see.

“All right,” Ben says. “Shara it is. Good to meet you, Shara.”

Shara -- formerly FN-2007 -- giggles. “Good to meet you too!”

***

It’s later on that Hux reports to the Supreme Leader. The Supreme Leader listens carefully to Hux’s next plan, to level Hosnia Prime, and finally he says, “Go then. Oversee preparations.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux says, before the hologram fades.

Even as he walks away, Hux can’t help but feel a sort of scorn towards the Supreme Leader. He’s weak, he’s fragile, he seems to favor Lisaris over Hux (which Hux finds inexplicable), and he’s too soft. Hux would be better for this position in every way.

No, not just this position. Hux deserves a position beyond Supreme Leader. He deserves to be Emperor.

He can see it now. A throne just for himself, a whole empire stretching across the galaxy, crushing anyone in his way. It’s something that will be reality, one day. And Hux knows he will kill Snoke in order to do it.

Hux heads away, and his head is full of possibilities of what could be.


	14. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and co. show up on the scene as Hux destroys Hosnia Prime.

The Finalizer is already docked above Hosnia Prime when Hux orders it to fire on the planet. Watching from above, he has to admire how the sprouts of fire appear on the planet’s surface, how the cities burn under the guns of the Finalizer.

He stands on the bridge of the Finalizer, and though he doesn’t smile outwardly, he feels a sort of swell of satisfaction even as he watches the planet burn.

***

Even as Ben snaps awake, he can already feel people dying in his head. He can already feel turbolasers raining down on the landscape, and it’s too much. People are dying, and he has to get to them.

He runs up to the front of the transport. “It’s him,” he says. “The General that Madine mentioned. He’s bombing Hosnia Prime -- ’’

“I know,” Poe says. “We got the transmission. We’re on our way right now. We’re just about to drop out of hyperspace.”

When they do, the vision of hell before them is unbelievable. Ben can’t imagine the sheer scale of what’s going on. Turbolasers are raining fire on the landscape, and he knows that he has to do something. Destroy the Finalizer, of course. But also get the civilians out of there.

Poe steers them through the blasts of the turbolasers, down towards the city, and Ben can see the ash-colored sky, the destroyed cities. Shara walks up to the front, and Ben gently coaxes her back. She doesn’t need to see this.

“Was it him?” Shara says. “The bad man?”

“Possibly.” Ben takes a deep breath. “Best we can do is make sure that he never gets anyone else.”


	15. Arrest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team arrests Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Their first order of business is taking out the Finalizer’s turbolasers. Poe is more the pilot of the both of them, so he steers them neatly towards the turbolasers, shooting them precisely just in time for the turbolasers to be taken out.

Ben turns to Poe and grins. “We did it!”

”Kriff yes!” Poe grins at him back, something that Ben loves because by the stars, he looks so beautiful. Then again, he’s beautiful in general.

They embrace tightly, and it lasts long enough for Madine to look at them curiously when they break away. The General doesn’t know about their relationship then. He really doesn’t.

“It’s not over, really,” Madine says. “We still need to arrest the man responsible for this, and mine his ship for bombs.”

That’s something that Ben can do, actually. That’s something that Ben can definitely do. 

With Poe’s help, they steer the shuttle onto the ship, past the blasts of laser fire, and into a miniature hangar. They disembark, and Ben turns to look at Harry. 

“Look after Shara, okay?” He says. 

Harry nods, and Ben and the others continue beyond that door. 

Stormtroopers are waiting for them. Ben slices them down, Katrina, Poe and Madine shoot them down. They fall to the ground, and Ben and the others continue into the ship. Even planting the bombs is difficult, as you have to be extra careful.

When they’re done, Ben turns to look at the others. “Let’s go arrest the man who did it,” he says. 

They continue beyond the door to the bridge, where a tall, redheaded man stands, currently watching the stars. 

The man turns around, and there’s something about his dour expression that makes Ben wonder if it was engraved there. Other officers draw their blasters, only for the others to shoot them down. The bridge is a mess of chaos even as the ship sounds the alert. 

The redheaded General draws his blaster, only for Ben to reach out and freeze him. There’s a certain satisfaction in it, seeing the dour expression change to shock. And it’s frozen there. 

“Good job, Ben,” Madine says. “Let’s get him out of there.”

They take him back to the shuttle, lay him down, take Shara and Harry, and head out of the Finalizer just in time for the bombs to go off. Even watching the Finalizer explode over Hosnia Prime, Ben wonders if there were any soldiers on there just doing their jobs, or —

No. They saved lives. Now they just have to call in the medics. 

They head down to Hosnia Prime, and Land there. Madine comms in one of the medical frigates. It’s their best chance. As for General Hux...

Ben has a feeling he’s going to enjoy what happens to this bastard. No matter what. 

 

 

 


	16. On the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Ben does get a little dark in this one. Just to warn you.

When Hux wakes up in their custody, Ben already feels his fury building. 

“Where am I?” Hux demands. Even his voice, Ben thinks, is grating. Slimy, actually. Too slimy and polished, almost like a Senator. It’s hard to reconcile that voice with that monster. 

“You’re in Republic custody,” Ben says. "For your crimes against the planet Hosnia Prime.”

”They deserved worse,” Hux says, and something in Ben snaps. White hot fury, thinking of every death Hux has caused, every evil...

“Why did you do it?" Ben says. “Was it for your own pleasure?”

”It was no worse than they deserved,” Hux hisses. 

“They were innocents!” Ben says. 

“They were all complicit with the Republic.”

”Better than being complicit with Snoke.”

Hux’s features look almost bestial with rage. “You dare to speak of Leader Snoke in such a way — ’’

”You bet I dare. Plenty.” Ben says. 

Shara’s hiding behind Madine. And it’s then that Ben says, “Where are the other facilities?” 

“The trooper — ’’

”Don’t play stupid with me,” Ben snaps. “You’re not good at it.”

Behind Madine, Harry takes Shara out of the room. Ben takes a deep breath. “You know, I don’t want to do this. Even to a monster like you. I’m not the type. But if I have to...”

”Ben, that’s enough,” Madine says. “Let me handle this."

Ben steps away from the situation, and he feels a sort of horror. What did he nearly do? What could he have done? Even to a monster like Hux —

Poe puts a hand on his shoulder. “You’re angry, Ben,” he says. “I don’t blame you one bit. Come on.”

Ben walks away, and Poe follows.

“Are you okay?” Poe says. 

Ben shakes his head. “It’s what he did,” he says, “And I have so much anger — ’’

”Ben. Listen to me. You’re not going to go Dark just because you got angry. But you have to be careful. I actually thought you would do something you’d regret later.”

”To say the least.” Ben doesn’t want to think about what he could have done. 

“Whatever happens,” Poe says, “I’m with you, Ben. No matter what.”

And Ben, in that moment, can believe him. He trembles in that moment, and the first hints of tears brim in his eyes.

”Ben,” Poe says softly. “I’ve got you. Always.”

Something breaks in Ben, and as Poe holds him (and Poe seems so small in this moment), he weeps.

”Stars, Poe, the people...all of them...how could he?”

”He’s a monster, Ben,” Poe says. “He’ll never be anything but."

They walk away, back to Ben’s quarters, and Ben takes Poe aside. “I’m afraid,” he says. “Of myself. Of falling.”

”No matter what happens, I’ll be with you,” Poe says. “You want me to stay the night?”

”That would work.”

It’s a tight fit, and Ben is aware of his size — too big, too muscular. “Sorry,” he says.

”Don’t be,” Poe says. “I admit, it’s comforting. It means I’m safe.”

Ben snuggles next to him. “I feel the same way when I’m with you.” He inhales Poe’s scent, wraps an arm around him. He’s careful, of course; there are times when he feels like he’s too big and clumsy for someone as delicate, as wonderful, as Poe. Even though Poe’s older than he is.

Poe hums happily and presses against Ben. “You’re so warm.”

Ben chuckles in spite of himself; he shouldn’t be laughing, but he can’t help it. They snuggle together, Ben’s body and emotions feeling cooled even as they drift off to sleep. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Legacy of a father](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698821) by [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd)




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